Suspended Balance

I have been feeling weak and listless for the past few weeks with no clear symptoms nor explanations. A chinese doctor told me that I was 'over heating' from eating too much meat or protein related product, it's kinda funny because I also remembered that I feel the weakest whenever I drank my protein shake.
Perhaps that was some truth in that, I drank her traditional rancid stuff and I am getting better...
However, I think the underlining cause is my mental health (metal health, heh heh, God Bless Kevin Dubrow) isn't what I thought it should be.
You see, I have been kinda rolling around in the past few weeks, maybe months... as if I am in auto cruise mode. I do my daily work, work out, kendo, going out, etc... Yet I have been doing all of them without any passion, without any conviction and most importantly without any direction. While I was trying to maintain my inner balance, I didn't realize that I was slipping.
Apparently this inner balance is a dynamic concept. Not only you need to maintain all the aspects of your life, such as work, exercise, fun, socializing, intellectuals, but you also have to keep them rolling. Constantly seek to improve, whether its an existing aspect or add another plate that you are spinning.
It took my friend Noodle King to give me a kick in my nutzak, figuratively of course, for me to realize this. He told me to shape up and do the things I wanted to do, get the things I wanted to get. Otherwise the flow will be interrupted and all the progress will be halted. He told me to get some new clothes because a lot of my clothes are too old or too big now, go get whatever I wanted and go where ever I think I want to go (we will come to this later on).
I also thought to myself that I need to start taking responsibilities in my life, my job, Kendo and not letting people who counted on me down.
Speaking of responsibilities, it suddenly dawned on me I need to take some responsibilities for my past as well, including my failed relationship. I started to think that perhaps it wasn't all Queen of Diamond's fault, perhaps I also had my faults. Well, what's done is done, it's all over now...