Four months ago...

Late November, during an unbelievably cold Seoul winter time...

Life was great, I was in a relationship, on a vacation with my buddy Rockett, everything seemed to have a direction. I felt I was going somewhere, in my job, in my life, even in my Kendo.
I even told Rockett to expect a wedding invitation within the next two years.

Little did I know...
Within a month, it seems everything was taken away from me.
The relationship ended without any clear reason...
I also felt a sharp pain on my left leg, as if I was being electrocuted whenever I was standing or walking too long and when ever I stand in kamae. Later the doctor diagnosed it as a pinched nerve caused by swollen discs on my vertebrae. Without question, I was unable to exercise, much less practice Kendo.
I am not exactly a Bible reading kinda man, but the events that happened to me in December reminded me of the Story of Jobe. Like him, I am unsure why this had happened to me, neither did I know how I should go on.

Kendo has been a big part of my life since I started it, at the beginning it was an activity to test myself, to prove to myself that I will not quit this physically demanding sport even though at the time I have never done any sports in my life. As I continued on, I realize there's more to this martial arts than just hitting someone with a stick, somehow it corresponds closely to my life.
Perhaps I have to thank Kiyota Sensei in Madison, WI for teaching us the history and philosophical aspect of Kendo before we actually did any hard training. Whatever he taught us, it got me through some very difficult period both in Kendo and in my life.

Now faced with a lost of direction, and without Kendo I was indeed truly lost.