Unexpected

Well, amidst all these things going on around me... While I am still grounded here at home, something unexpected did came about.
BellyDancer and I grew close... I know that we don't see each other, because she's working in Jakarta and I am grounded here in Bandung, but she and I grew close... Closer than what I expected. I don't know what's happening, it's not that I did anything any differently... but something did happen.
I knew that EvenStar has been a dream for a while now, but I began to wonder if it's merely an escape from the bleak prospect that is my life. In fact, I began to wonder if the signs I read were true or not... She's coming back next month, with no guarantee if she's staying or not. Even if she's staying, I don't know if she feels the same... In fact, I don't even know what I feel anymore!

What I definitely don't want is to pass up something that's right in front of me, while I'm out there chasing for 'nothing'... You know?

Well, in any case... nothing is definite at this point. In fact, the way I feel now, even if BellyDancer turns out to be a 'hoax', I ain't gonna beat myself down over that either.