“I chose her not because of love, really… but because I think she’ll be a good mother will be able to take care of my household”
“I didn’t even know what was going! I walked in the room and before I knew it, everything was already set, the date, the place, everything!”
“Because she’s rich!”
“Because it’s about time and I am comfortable with her and her family.”
“I think she can accept me the way I am NO matter what.”
Those are some of the answers I have received when I asked some of my married friends on why they decided to marry their spouses. I noticed that none of the above answers mentioned words like love, chemistry or she’s the one…
Honestly, I am a little disappointed with the results that I got so far in regards to this questioning. From the answers, it would seem that marriage is a matter of convenience rather than love.
I am not sure whether this is due to the Asian background, but a large percentage of people I know, chose spouses that are simpler to maintain rather than someone they WANT to be with for the rest of their lives. Someone to take care of the family while we are at work (or where ever else we may be), or crudely put an employee.
This makes me question the notion of love itself, does it even exist at all? Are we doomed to chase something that never existed in the first place? A fairy tale or a beautiful notion which merely serves to provide the impression that there is special someone out there and something that binds us.
If I know myself as well as I think I do, any relationship based on convenience and co-dependence is not what I am after. Whatever I may be doing now, it’s solely based on the fact that I am on a quest for love, yes love. Because any relationship based on anything other than that, is an empty shell with no direction… at least that’s how I see it.
Someone once said, which is the greater suffering? Having no one to share your burden, or having no one share your joys with?
Whatever one may have accomplished as an individual, it means nothing unless you have someone to share it with and move on to the next stage with.
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